Ive got these verses down and I have almost a chorus but i was just way too anxious to get it on here and get some feedback to wait. Ill post the chorus as soon as im done with it, in the mean time, can i get some feedback, critisism? anything really.

(Verse I)
Welcome to the dawning of confusion
Individuality is a thing of the past
Risk just doesnt sell in a market
Dominated by pre approved, packaged souls,
All labeled for sale to a broken society.


(Verse II)
The road back to where we were
Is long since forgotten
Clones in an unevolving tommorrow
From a world welcoming the death of improvement,
And the rise of conformity.



Again, im almost finished the chorus but how are these? Any weak parts? Is it getting through to you or not? Thanks!