Yes, but every note over any chord is equally applicable. It just depends on what each (the harmony and melody) are doing. Each does there own thing, however, the goal to having a good sound is that each sounds good by themselves. You don't want to risk damaging a melody because a rule says that this note should not be played. If the melody goes to that note, and it is pleasant, then that's the right note. Just play.

I suggest try writting something that breaks these rules. Example, use F as the dominant re-occuring note in your melody and play over a couple of Cmaj7 chords in the harmony. Make it work. I bet you'll discover something very cool sounding. This goes for every rule that you encounter, learn them and then break them.

When it comes to learning theory from one person's perpective. Your basically learning how they approach theory (especially when they meantion something like "avoid tone"). This is what they have learned from there practices. But keep in mind everybody approaches music in a slightly different way.

I, myself, tend you look for what can be done, and not what shouldn't be done.