Originally Posted by: The AceI wrote this acoustic song (like vocals with just and acoustic guitar...) and I really like the work I've done on it. There's this one line in the lyrics that just doesn't work though.
I'm trying to say that this guy Billy died and went to heaven... bla bla bla...
Here is the first line (that I'm keeping): Billy never returned/came back/
Here's the second line that I comes after the one above (the one I need to change): His place on Earth was gone
What do you think I should change the second line to, to make it sound more like a preacher wasn't singing it?
Thanx a lot! Just wanted your opinions...
-The Ace
What about:
He kissed this life goodbye