some lyrics

heres somethin me and my bass player wrote about a year ago. of course, it has little to no meaning. tell me what kind of things i should work on. oh and its hard to get it if u dunno the melody and music, but wutever. im sure theres plenty to critisize.



one more chance
to fail in your eyes
one last hope
of my demise
my only thoughts
controlled by you
the love i had
was never true

lets go!

I dont need you
I'd never need you
who'd ever need you
and i'll never admit i ever ever need you

the final kiss
a lasting scar
that feeling i had
a falling star
my only regrets
are the memories
my only wish
is you again

lets go!

I dont need you
I'll never need you
who'd ever need you
and i'll never admit i ever ever need you

You don't care
I don't care
You know I care
I know you cry




yes, it sucks. but its punk music, no one listens to the lyrics

Originally posted by NRLoser
...yes, it sucks. but its punk music, no one listens to the lyrics.

Well, excuse me! I thought it was just fine until that last little bit, which is kinda confusing.

Bear with me here, I'm old enough that I confuse easily, sometimes... and whaddaya mean, "lets go!" ??

oh, thats just an inside joke with this kid i know who plays all metal, and thinks no talent is needed for punk.

lets go is just somethin that is yelled during the prechorus. but other than that, u thought it wasnt bad?

Yeah, its at least as good as the stuff on the radio. As for "Lets go!", I have this literal streak in me that tends to wonder "Where?", "What for?", and such. It's kinda distracting.

hehe

i took out the lets go, that was dumb. thx for the feedback, u'll be enduring more soon!

Sounds pretty dark to me...
I tried to imagine a cheesy porno track behind it and it worked pretty well....
Just kidding...
Nice lyrics

Work on the chorus. It sucks.

Your verses were alright but your chorus was a peace of
****! (excuse the language).