Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?


Slow Diver
Registered User
Joined: 02/27/02
Posts: 379
I found this on a Bulgarian site, its somewhat fun, check it out

Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
Questions and Answers about Foreign Policy (and the U.S. Invasion of Iraq)


: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction.
Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.
Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?
A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.
Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?
A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.
Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
A: To use them in a war, silly.
Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?
A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.
Q: That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons with which they could have fought back?
A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.
Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.
A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.
Q: And what was that?
A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.
Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?
A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.
Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.
Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
A: Right.
Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.
Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
A: I told you, China is different.
Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?
A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.
Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.
Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.
Q: Like in Iraq?
A: Exactly.
Q: And like in China, too?
A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.
Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.
Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?
A: Don't be a smart-ass.
Q: I didn't think I was being one.
A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.
Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.
Q: What's a military coup?
A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.
Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.
Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.
Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?
A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.
Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?
A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.
Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men - fifteen of them Saudi Arabians - hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings in New York and Washington, killing 3,000 innocent people.
Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.
Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's heads and hands?
A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.
Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?
A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.
Q: Fighting drugs?
A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.
Q: How did they do such a good job?
A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.
Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?
A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.
Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?
A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.
Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.
Q: What's the difference?
A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.
Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.
Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.
A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.
Q: Who trained them?
A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.
Q: Was he from Afghanistan?
A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.
Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.
A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.
Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?
A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.
Q: So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians - are now our friends?
A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.
Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?
A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.
Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?
A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.
Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
A: Well, yeah. For a while.
Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.
Q: Why did that make him our friend?
A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.
Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.
Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?
A: Most of the time, yes.
Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?
A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.
Q: Why?
A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless unAmerican Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?
Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
A: Yes.
Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.
Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
A: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.
Q: Good night, Daddy.
s
The world is loaded, it's lit to pop, nobody is gonna stop!
# 1
Leedogg
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Joined: 02/07/02
Posts: 2,809
Man that is awesome. So very very true.
Blues is easy to play, but hard to feel.
My YouTube Profile
# 2
Death55
Registered User
Joined: 05/14/03
Posts: 603
True but quite funny :D
By virtue of their electrical properties, tubes generate a special waveform when they're saturated, which is why tube engineering has tremendous tonal advantages over solid state or DSP solutions, particularly for crunch and lead sounds. Tubes enter the saturation zone gradually or softly, which lends tube-driven tone its trademark yet totally unique character.
# 3
Hammurabi
Registered User
Joined: 09/23/03
Posts: 1,679
Btw, you can't forget that the Bin Laden family has been a huge investor in some of Bush's foriegn industries. Just another thing to ask about.
"If one has realized a truth, that truth is valueless so long as there is lacking the indomitable will to turn this realization into action!"
-A.H.
# 4
SLY
Un-Registered User
Joined: 08/08/02
Posts: 1,613
LOL

Very cool ... The WMD's part reminded me of some real arguments I was personaly involved with on this particular site like a year ago or so !
# 5
Barreta_jetstream1
Senior Member
Joined: 08/05/01
Posts: 195
... and you didn't mention how attacking a country to rid it of a regime is the not allowed according to the Geneva (sp) convention... maybe someone should remind Mr Bush + Blair that...
Tandem Felix
# 6
ketsueki15
Registered User
Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 695
Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a catfish?
A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish.

A few president jokes

The last four ex-U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they whirled to OZ. They finally make it to the Emerald City and came before the Great Wizard.
"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD OF OZ?"
Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly:" I've come for some courage."
"NO PROBLEM!" says the Wizard. "WHO IS NEXT?"
Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well........., I.......I think I need a brain."
"DONE" says the Wizard. "WHO COMES NEXT BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ?"
Up stepped George Bush sadly, "I'm told by the American people that I need a heart."
"I'VE HEARD IT'S TRUE!" says the Wizard. "CONSIDER IT DONE."
There is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
"Is Dorothy here?"
Heres a Bush joke just to be fair

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can
you prove who you really are?"
Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"
Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.
Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"
The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.
Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"
Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."
Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk.
Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"
Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove
yours?"
George W. looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"
Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George."
In memory of Randy Rhoads
# 7
kingdavid
Registered User
Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 1,149
Originally posted by SLY
...The WMD's part reminded me of some real arguments I was personaly involved with on this particular site like a year ago or so !

Yeah,I remember those
# 8
SLY
Un-Registered User
Joined: 08/08/02
Posts: 1,613
kingdavid - At least we can both proudly say that we were right.

Btw, how have you been? :)
# 9
MadGuitarest
Registered User
Joined: 01/24/04
Posts: 202
I think that the thing about the kid and his dad is bull**** but whatever, its amost like showing sympothy for saddam and such
Mike ;)
# 10
basics
Registered User
Joined: 02/05/04
Posts: 441
Originally posted by Slow Diver
Q: So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians - are now our friends?
A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.


Hey now, and Canada too eh!
# 11
basics
Registered User
Joined: 02/05/04
Posts: 441
Originally posted by MadGuitarest
I think that the thing about the kid and his dad is bull**** but whatever, its amost like showing sympothy for saddam and such


No man, just showing the ironies in the actions of a great nation such as the USA.
# 12
kingdavid
Registered User
Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 1,149
Originally posted by SLY
kingdavid - At least we can both proudly say that we were right.

Btw, how have you been? :)

Purrfect!!
Like someone sings,I'm still holding on.
How are the pharaohs?

And yes,Basics, it's just the ironies.Tell everyone we're not trying to get into that argument ALL OVER AGAIN.:eek:
# 13
SLY
Un-Registered User
Joined: 08/08/02
Posts: 1,613
Originally posted by kingdavid
How are the pharaohs?


My grannies .... They're doing great , having fun inside their tombs ! :D
# 14
PonyOne
pHj33r my v1r1l17y
Joined: 11/29/00
Posts: 3,772
Well, at least when I have grandkids, I can tell them that I managed to live through one of the bleakest periods of American history.

I hate Dubya. There isn't really much more to say without typing 13 pages.
more from the self-proclaimed king of long-winded posts
Fox Magic Jiron - Always with us
now with more long-wind power: http://www.livejournal.com/users/tristan_s/
# 15
PonyOne
pHj33r my v1r1l17y
Joined: 11/29/00
Posts: 3,772
On the upside, after a bunch of American soldiers and civilians got blown up, and a bunch of foreigners got kidnapped, and Condoleeza Rice went before the commission, his approval rating fell to around 30%... I'm actually quite shocked that 70% of America was even paying enough attention to realize what has been happening lately...

But of course after we discover some WMD's or capture Bin Laden 2 weeks before we go to the polls, his approval rating will shoot up another 20-30%, because people are suckers.

My people's tolerance of what this man has done to our rights, and from having taken us from being a beacon for justice and rights, as well as sympathy from everyone post 9/11 to being arguably the most mistrusted and reviled nation in the world has definitely shaken my faith in humanity. Oh well. Things get too bad, I'll just move to Israel or Sweden...
more from the self-proclaimed king of long-winded posts
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# 16
Lordathestrings
Gear Guru
Joined: 01/18/01
Posts: 6,242
Originally posted by PonyOne
...Oh well. Things get too bad, I'll just move to Israel or Sweden...
If you like Bush, you'll love Sharon! :rolleyes:

And after LA, anywhere in Sweden is gong to feel very cold and dark.
Lordathestrings
Guitar Tricks Moderator

www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
# 17
PonyOne
pHj33r my v1r1l17y
Joined: 11/29/00
Posts: 3,772
Yeah, but, having grown up in Seattle, well, I got what it takes to dwell in cold, wet, dark places.

The Israel part is more tongue in cheek, i.e. i hate bush so much i'll choose the lesser of two evils and risk getting blown up while i'm at the checkout at the grocery store so i don't have to be on the same continent as him.
more from the self-proclaimed king of long-winded posts
Fox Magic Jiron - Always with us
now with more long-wind power: http://www.livejournal.com/users/tristan_s/
# 18
Hammurabi
Registered User
Joined: 09/23/03
Posts: 1,679
I dislike being under Bush's rule. On the other hand, I don't like Kerry at all either. I think I'll satisfy my patriotic duty by not voting this time around.

I want to move to Europe.
"If one has realized a truth, that truth is valueless so long as there is lacking the indomitable will to turn this realization into action!"
-A.H.
# 19
kingdavid
Registered User
Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 1,149
This has nothing tomdo with this thread,but I HATE!!!! it when sopmeone comes into my room and rearranges stuff for me WITHOUT MY PERMITION!
And coming to the forum today feels exactly like that.
it's cool and all that( I LOVE the eek!! smiley;this one-:eek: ),but I'm kinda lost here.This would have been a new thread,but I don't even see where to start a new thread.
YOU MODS YOU!!
# 20