Guitar Jokes

A friend of mine pass this along to me. He knows I like to play guitar and thought I'd get a kick from them...

My Ol' Lady said that if I bought one more Guitar, she's gonna leave me!

...Sure gonna miss that Ol' Gal...

Q. What's the difference between a musician and a US savings bond?

A. One of them eventually matures and earns money.


Q. What has 8 teeth and fourty feet?

A. The front row of a blue grass concert.


Q. What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?

A. Homeless.

Q. What's the difference between a bass player and a toilet?

A. A toilet only has to take crap from one butt hole at a time.


Q. What does a drum solo and premature ejaculation have in common?

A. You know it's coming and there is nothing you can do about it.


Q. What do you say to a banjo player in a three-piece suit?

A. Will the defendant please rise.


Q. What does a German Hammond organist do in his life's most tender moments?

A. He puts his Leslie on "Slow".



A drummer walks into a library and says: "Hi I'll have a burger, fries, and a large coke." The librarian responds: Sshhhh... do you kow where you are? This is a library! The drummer, sheepishly and in a whisper says: "Sorry... I'll have a burger, fries and a large coke."
:D

the butt hole one is halarious

Q. What is the difference between a sound engeneer and a dead fish?

A.The fish did not always smell that way.

a doctor say's to a patient "I have some bad news, you have cancer, and you also have amnesia" and the patient say's "well at least I don't have cancer"


too soon?

What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians?

Answer: A drummer

Just a random note, groupies can be some very good musicians.

How do you get two guitarists to play together?

Shoot one.

There's two cowboys traveling through Indian territory out west
and they start hearing these drums in the background, one
cowboy says to the other I sure don't like the sound of them drums, Then out of nowhere this indian pops up from behind a rock and says,[ thats not are regular drummer ] :D
Mark

Q: What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine ?
A: A drum machine won't sleep with your girlfriend !



Vocalist : Do you remember when the stupid bass player forgot his keys inside and locked his car?
Guitarist : Yeah , it took a while before we got the drummer out .


A drummer decided one day that he has to be a real musician , so he went to the strore to buy some real musical instruments and says to the salesman : I'll have the trombone and the accordion .
The salesman replies : You can take the fire extinguisher , but the radiator is not for sale .

A guitarist is driving down the road on a misty night, when out of the mist he sees a bassist and a drummer crossing the road, the guitarist knows he’s going to hit both of them, but which does he hit first?


The bassist, business before pleasure.

Why guitars are better than women:


You can share your Guitar with your friends.

Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you've played

Guitars don't care if you look at other Guitars.

Guitars don't care if you buy Guitar magazines.

Your Guitar doesn't care if you never listen to it.

Your Guitar won't care if you leave up the toilet seat.

Your parents won't remain in touch with your old Guitar after you dump it.

Guitars don't insult you if you're a bad player.

Your Guitar never wants a night out with the other Guitars.

You can play your Guitar the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.


Q - How does a guitar player show up for practice?
A - Drunk and late......... as usual


Q - What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
A - Homeless.

How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to do it and the other one to say he could have done it better.

Originally posted by spanky10940
...Guitars don't care if you buy Guitar magazines...

:D :D :D

You can share your Guitar with your friends.

Never!

Guitars don't care if you look at other Guitars.

Mine sure do :/ They get lonely if I leave them alone for too long as well.

You can play your Guitar the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.

I guess I'm just picky. I change the strings, pickups, bridge configuration (action as well) with almost every guitar I play :P


just fixed some tags... -eggman