If I couldn't laugh at myself how could I laugh at someone less ridiculous?
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Even Jennifer Batten uses a dampner, she kicks much ass. If you're a real purist take up yoga so that you can sit and put your foot on your guitar neck as a dampner. If you get really good at it you could use your toes to fret pedal notes while you tap! Then you'll be a circus freak and I'll visit you in a big yellow tent along with the elephants and the minging clowns!