It’s pretty hard for me to critique when I can’t write music myself. This is not from not understanding music theory, I do. It’s just that I would never in 1 million years come up with the riff for Jumpin jack flash if you know what I mean. So…

The song has a lot going on, but if you’re not throwing all that shit at the wall, how would you know what sticks is the only thing I can advise. So throw as much as you possibly can and overtime you’ll work out how you want your songs to be structured. What stays and what goes.

And I agree with you, the music has to be your own, regardless of whether or not other people like it. I write lyrics all the time, which are really just short stories about something that is either happening in my life or I see it happening in someone else’s life and I want to write about it. And like you, my lyrics are actually very important to me and I take them seriously. So when I am criticized as dark and moody, well, I guess that’s just how I am as a person and that’s going to come out in my lyrics and that won’t change. And I read from your posting it’s pretty much going to be the same for you. You’re gonna find the music that you want to play for your own ears. 

Keep writing!