Tell me what you think

My drummer wrote these lyrics and I wanted to know if you guys liked them. Its played to a kind of rappish beat. She only wrote a coule verses but she still would like feedback.


Scarce light at the end of the tunnel
crawling on skin brusied from the inside
it wouldn't be the first time I lied
innner silhoutte of every secret I have
of missing freedems i once had
cause everuthing I do
is a mistake to you
just screaming away the pain
won't take away the rain
that I fear whenever you are near
inside out scars that won't fade away
never be healed
always sealed behind lips that can't smile through the day
and chained inside jaded eyes
with kept in cries

chorus
Begining to see to the real me
see past the layer of lies
and see past the layer of cries

They're alright.
Are those the first she's written?

Sounds pretty good. I think she is focusing too much on too many different subjects.

Originally posted by Guitarlove9090
Its played to a kind of rappish beat.

A rappish beat?? I hate it already!! Just kidding :P
The lyrics were good, maybe too many metaphors but it's what alot of artists today are doing. I'm guess that's the music you play so they're good.

I think your drummer is mistaking lyrics as poetry...