COWBOY WISDOM
- If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do, is stop digging.
- Never gut-punch a man who’s chewin’ tobacco.
- It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
- Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
- Never follow good whiskey with water, less’n you’re out of good whiskey.
- Water is for fightin' over. Whiskey is for makin' friends over.
- Don’t you worry ‘bout bitin’ off more’n you can chew. Your mouth’s prolly a whole lot bigger’n you thought it was.
- If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, jest you try orderin’ someone else’s dog around.
- Good judgement comes from experience... a lot of which comes from bad judgement.
- Always drink upstream from the herd.
- If’n you give a critter or a person a lesson in meanness, don’t be surprised if’n they learn it real well.
- The best way to have a quiche for dinner put it in the oven to bake at 325 °F. While you’re waitin’, grill up a good, thick, steak on the BBQ, ‘n eat it. Let the quiche continue to bake.
- If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now’n then to see if they’re still there.
- Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
- There’s two theories ‘bout arguin’ with a woman. Neither one works.
- When you’re throwin’ your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
- Lettin’ the cat outa th’ bag is a whole lot easier than gettin’ that critter back in the bag.
- Always take a good look at what you’re about to eat. Knowing what it is ain’t nearly as important as knowin’ what it was.
- The quickest way to double you’re money is to fold it ‘n put it back in your pocket.
- Never miss a good oportunity to shut up.