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Incidents Happen
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Joined: 12/23/01
Posts: 1,625
Incidents Happen
Registered User
Joined: 12/23/01
Posts: 1,625
06/30/2003 10:05 pm
I would call them "New Poetry", because they aren't really in song form, the way you presented them to us, with words like "If" taking up a whole line.

There's too much rhyming, every first line rhymes with every single 2nd line, and same thing with your 3rd and 4th lines. Nearly all beginning writers seem to write like this, and it gets annoying after a while- What that shows to the audience when it's never-ending rhyming, is that you are good with a dictionary.

Those are my two cents.