Hey Dude,
I had a listen to you mp3

Your playing was very good so don’t think my comments are negative. However, you can probably make the end result much better by doing some fairly simple things.

First up, how did you record it?

I think that their is a lot of mileage in getting a "hotter" signal and one of the easiest ways of doing this is to record direct. It sounded like you were using a microphone and this complicates matters quite a lot.

Recording direct is easy and involves plugging you stomp box / amp headphones out / multi-effects unit directly into the "line in" socket of your tape recorder / computer. Then, set your levels and shoot!

From this point you will also be able to bring out more "texture" in your playing via tweaking the EQ. There is very little bass at the moment, which makes the tone sound thin, and this is totally fixable.

Also (I don’t know if this is a total no no) have you thought about having a metronome or something in the background?

You may also want to try several different pieces (I know this is a lot of work) and then pick the best one after standing them next to a commercial recording of the original piece.

Some times it can really help to get in touch with a good teacher and get them to help out with a piece. Tell them you are making an audition tape and can they help. This will cost about $17.00 for a half hour session however if it is the difference between a scholarship or not, 3 x $17 bucks in a drop in the ocean!

Hope this is helpful
S