whoa! a female! we get so few.
anyway, as far as a band, i don't think any of us are near you. but as for what you can do, it may be good to take out an ad (that's how Hetfield and Ulrich met) or put up a sign in the music store. but just keep posting you're name and searching the web. i don't know or any sites per say, but sooner or later you'll find people.
To improve technique and of course trying to keep all as clean as possible. I know my own limits and speed limits and so on I never play anything I'm not capable of. That wouldn't make any sense. After three years of playing I tried to play everything as fast as possible and that sounded, I would say, like shit, and I didn't realize that if I'd play bit slower things than I was capable of playing then everything would sound much better.
--Aleksi Laiho - Advice to Play By