At what point do you say "I just can't play that?"

I'm sitting here trying to play Your song by Elton John using the lesson here on the site. There are chords I just can't do. Especially using the thumb on those Bm type shape chords and fretting the 4th and 3rd frets on the low E while still keeping the shape of the chord.

And then you got that Amajor chord with the 4th fret on the A string.

I can't stretch my hand to do those chords and still make the chord sound good and play all the strings. I just can't do it. My hand just wont do it.

I can play open chords, power chords just fine.

Bar chords? Somewhat ok... but I find myself having to press down on the frets extremely friggin hard to be able to hit every note in the chord and not having a "Dud" note... and talk about the pain!

So at what point do ya say "I just can't play those chords?"

It might be a physical disability because I don't alien fingers and can stretch my fingers to play chords 6 frets apart.

...also, how crappy of a guitarist will I be on stage if I can't play those chords in front of people and skip playing that bass note in the chord, or play half of the chord?

You might be a bit hard on yourself Nick. I did have a look at what you were talking about and that thumb over the 4th fret is not easy. I would just keep at it, but not to the point where you are making yourself miserable. I often try things, stop for a while, go back to it. Over time, things usually come around.

Have a look at what I am doing, maybe it will give you some ideas. I find on really tough chords like this I need to experiment with different angles and positions for my elbow and even fingers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esHJNcyi__A&feature=youtu.be

Just keep on trying, sometimes if it just doesn't work then walk away from it for a while and then come back; even if you only get 1 note or one bar further then you will have made a progress and is it worth hanging in there.

As for playing in a band; usually there is a bass player in the band so no need to play the bass note on the 6th and 5th strings, they would only sit in the way in the mix.

Herman