Hows this?

I did a remix on a tune I uploaded here recently....
somebody at Garageband.com said this tune made em sound ill cause I sound like a middle-aged pervert stuck in the 80's
...blah.
Just wanted to get some opinions on whether I need to drastically rethink my writing style or just tell the guy to go $%#^ himself. :)
I'm still trying to get the hang of doing 72 track recordings in CubaseVST so any opinions (good or bad) would be muchly appreciated.

GoinHome.MP3

Tell 'im to f%$# off anyway - it's just his opinion; the following is just mine. I guess the overall mood of the piece does evoke an '80's type of tune ( though I am not a fan of the era and may be off base ). The bridge seems overly long and the guitar break at 4:35 sounds very familiar, though I can't pinpoint it. The outro guitar has too much reverb ( or echo or delay, whatever effect you used ), though the licks are very tasty. Lastly, I think you faded too soon, let those tapping skills be heard - you're Schmange for Chrissakes !!!

Just my opinion, from a middle aged pervert stuck in the 60's and 70's LOL .

I like it, schmange. Your voice is haunting in a kind of Leonard Cohen / David Gilmore way. I wouldn't change your writing style as far as the lyrics go.

The only thing I found lacking, for my taste, was not enought guitar solos. I think with a 6+ minute song you should have more than one solo. It leaves us guitar-heads yearning for more, which is why John O'Caroll said it faded too quickly, I think. I was looking for a mini-solo around the 2 minute and 4 minute mark.

One thing I think would be cool would be to have a muffled or quiet guitar solo during the "marching" part, kind of a haunting-guitar-in-the-distance effect. Just an idea.

Sounds great overall, though. I think you're on to something.

DC

First impression: Cool guitar, Echo drums *cringe* (very few band work well with echo drums).... Singing is good (lyrics are a little poor), very impressive guitar for an 80's guy LOL (not exsesive as of yet)... erm, the lyrics need work....
it's quite neat, and restrained... me like..
cool feedback harmoney in there...
Some rather cool guitar settings.
cheesy bass...
cool cacophany of voices in there...
the melodies are cool, it's kinda jazzy and not predictable...
80's chorus on guitar... *cringe*,
oh the guitar has gone into cheese mode... I'll just wait till it goes...
some stereo fun...
oh it's finished...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, it faded when it got really intresting...

Listens again: the jet sound is a step too far.. but the breathing sound is cool... The bass reminds me of "take my breath away" (the icon of corprate muso waste), so i'm not too keen on that...
You've got a good voice on you there... the drones in the background are cool.. some predicatable chords in there..
It's familair, but i cant put my finger on it, espicailly the point where you talk through distortion... the lyrics are a little to blatant for my tastes.. especailly "going home... all alone"
The production is professional... but maybe a little clean for my tastes, it feels a little sterile...
Cool, echo drowned riff at 3:40... i'm actaully doing something like this on a piece i'm working on, but my equipments is cheaper than yours, :(
Cool, cacophany on voices that slowley buidls from 3:52ish...


on the whole it's pretty damn good, and i can see that even though that perticular genre is something.. erm, how do i put it... take offence at... lol

bad points: The lyrics aren't for me, they're a little too obvious, and the drumming isn't for me either... for echo drums, you need to see Martin Hannet's work with Joy division late 70's/ early 80's... (songs like "atmosphere", "Love will tear us apart", "dead souls" and "passover" etc etc i think they were the first poeple to put echo on drums)... and it fades on the tapping as well... it's a little drowned in echo too... the riff after "going home" a little clichied.. solo at 6:00 is OTT.

Good points: some great subtle riffs in there.. the stereo echo is done well... the voice is good, some good song writting structure.. great feed back harmoneeeees (i'm a sucker for feeeeedbaaack :D), some good sampling, great restrained solo at about 4:20, great guitar sound WITH OUT hiss...

INANUTSHELL: good song, a little to clean and over produced for me, and not very adventurous in the song structure department. I'd Scrap the echo drums, and the 80's bass... biulds tension well, and the acoustic is well hidden, i didn't really pick it up first time round.

That's just all my oppinion, (some one who hates GnR, Van Halen etc etc), so you've really got something right, if i can find something good about your song :)... Anyway, I'm working on some stuff which i'll upload, and you can review it when i put it up ;)
(sorry if anyof it a was a little brutal... i didn't mean it, i was just typing as i listened, so i didn't really sugar coat any of it)

Hey schmange,

I just listened to it again and realized you DID have a solo during the marching section, a subtle one that builds up nicely before it prematurely ends just when you were showcasing your tapping skills. I didn't want you to think I wasn't listening there. Again, it's cool overall.

DC