Bends and vibrato is where a player adds his feel and his own unique sound. Each player's vibrato is his own. From my experience, this is something that just comes with time and lots of playing. 80% of your tone comes from your hands! Amps and effects play into it, but the "emotion" you refer to comes from your hands.

Listen to a good player play their guitar unplugged from an amp. You'll be amazed at the "tone" that they can generate.