I can play faster, better, more accurately than anyone else in the world...
Well, let's make it for all the guitarists I have met...
Errrrrr, except for a few of them... well, maybe on my block... So I rate myself 11 ("why not make the 10 a little louder? well, those go to eleven...")

I have just been rated second fastest guitarist in the world (ex aequo with paul gilbert) in another thread on this site (I guess it was the 'who is the fastest...') and I can play the bumblebee at 280 bpm... I have been recorded at 24 notes per second (just go check out some videos on my site)
And you know what? I'd rather be voted the 'funniest' one because that's what I try to bring through my music, joy... Speed is just a tool, it would be like saying 'I can solo in A and E, so I'm better than you...'