Its the production that's lacking.. mainly just absent. The good news is that all the elements are there... it sounds like the meter is nice and tight and the musicianship is there... more importantly, so are the ideas.... from the sounds of it, you wrote an instrumental and then the vocalist put lyrics to it... that can be a little tough for him to get the right flow going, but seems like he did a good job. So you guys might want to take it to the next level now, work with a real producer who can give your music that next dimension with a good, solid mix. It would make a world of difference, as would collaborating in the writing process with the vocalist. Don't know where you recorded it, but going into a real studio with a band to record is lots of fun, and while it used to be very expensive, there are lots of reasonably priced facilities out there now. You'd have a great time... and who know's where it might lead? Keep at it!