Originally Posted by: ScornEmperorCould use some feedback or suggestions.
It sounds like you are playing the top 2 notes on the same string; pulling off the highest note back to the next note:
E |----------------------------|
B |-------14-17-p-14-----------|
G |----14-------------14-------|
D |-14-------------------14----|
A |----------------------------|
E |----------------------------|
First I'd encourage you to practice with a clean tone. Next, I'd say focus on three strings, one note per string. Then add another string, before adding multiple notes on the same string.
I have a series of tutorials on the technique.
Sweep Picking Series 1: The Basics
http://www.guitartricks.com/tutorial.php?input=985
Sweep Picking Series 2: Expanding The Sweep
http://www.guitartricks.com/tutorial.php?input=1000
Sweep Picking Series 3: Basic Applications
http://www.guitartricks.com/tutorial.php?input=1019
Basic Applications
http://www.guitartricks.com/tutorial.php?input=408
Advanced Sweeping
http://www.guitartricks.com/tutorial.php?input=211
But it sounds like you are trying hard! Congrats & keep working on it. :)