Nearly 2 decades later, that is still very much the case as I feel I still approach music the same way. My life has changed, and while I have had a wealth of great experiences and met some amazing musicians and humans; the fact still remains my greatest joy comes from writing and creating music from the ground up.
There is so much of an individual that goes into a song, that I have to agree with you. There aren't too many things in life that can compare to writing and creating music (with a few exceptions). Music takes your raw emotion and transforms it into art. The only other things capable of such a great experience are those things that you can build with your hands, or filter out of your brain and heart onto a medium of some sort, like a tapestry on a canvas.
I've enjoyed the pleasure of completing the process of writing lyrics, adding a melody, and in the recent past, having someone else put instrumentals to my base result. The product(s) have been interesting and exhilarating. To have any part of that process is an opportunity to express and explore (not always in this order).
As an artist, just beginning to be recognized (not for my songs necessarily, but for my voice) I have discovered that there is an attitude of awe in some individuals for those of us who are able to articulate and then set a melody to expressions that come from deep within. I consider this must be the same type of awe I feel for those who can take an instrument and bring it to life right before my very eyes, the same awe I feel when a little tune can be established as a major piece of music, with chords, harmonies and counter harmonies, background sounds that accentuate and compliment and more. How I've dreamed of doing all of it, but I don't know that I'll be able to accomplish such a feat at this point in my life; and I am very much aware that no one person can be good at everything.
Musical success for me is the pleasure of having someone say, "I could listen to you all day". It's dressed in the twinkle of the eyes on a person who comes to shake your hand and say, "I truly enjoyed your performance". It's draped in the encouragement that asks, "Why aren't you doing this for a living?" It's disguised in the embrace that pats you on the shoulders and wants to know, "Where can I buy your CD?"
I am imprisoned by my musical limitations therefore I will never be a "Star" as per the definition our society has placed on this idiom, but I think I have achieved personal success, because as musically ignorant as I am I have enjoyed these aspects of the industry. I have also been used and taken for granted, but the shadows are outweighed by the rush you experience during a stunning performance, and/or the sense of euphoria that comes afterward.
To me success is defined in believing you've climbed another step in the ladder of personal fulfillment and all the voices of affirmation that support your efforts are like the rays of the sun, they don't necessarily create the light, but they help spread the warmth everywhere!
V.
