Originally Posted by: Razbo... Like the last time I had her out. I was trying to gently guide her on the Bridge, and she kept sticking things in the way between us. Her reproach was Volumous and I didn't like her Tone. She Switches moods so that it gets in the way. So annoying! I don't know why I am so attracted to her. She seems to like me, too, but on some days I just don't know her at all...

Like any comely wench who aspires to perfection but falls just short, there are surgical options to consider. In this case, clean removal of that troublesome Volume mole next to her bridge. The underlying structure of the remaining two pots must be reconfigured to 1 Master Volume, and 1 Master Tone. The result is that she will respond to your touch, without the capricious diversions you have been plagued with 'til now.

When the work is done, seize her boldly, hold her close, smirk broadly, then spank that lady. She'll love you for it.