Realizing that you weren't in total control of the collaboration, I'll still critique her performance. Good but not great. In that you suggested that you are needing to encourage her, it sounds like she isn't very experienced from that description. Still, the feedback I would give is to bring a little more dynamic to the vocal performance. She definitely has a nice voice but it maintained the same tonal quality throughout and even with such a nice voice, it can almost get grating to listen to. She should find a part of a bridge or chorus section to vary to a different pitch, at least further than she does. I found myself waiting for that 'money' note or section where the Etta James-ness would kick in. Yet, that part just found her in the same range she was at.
As to your stuff. Overall I liked it. I really liked. As you know, I think you have something going.
However, a little constructive stuff. The guitar versus sax fills. Because the were often butted up against one another, I found it disjointed. Although I'd be wrong about this, it sounded like you had the idea in your head that it would sound good to stack them as an idea and less so built these fills as a natural progression of the song. While I think launching a solo section with a smooth sax solo leading to a more seering guitar break is a good way to butt the two together, I think the fills through out the song need to be one or the other but rarely, if at all, both in the same fill section. Having both stuffed in pull the listener (me) away from the song vibe.
Steely Dan did lots of sax or guitar break stuff. While not the same vibe, Josie is a good example of using little fills with guitar, sax or piano. I think the fill are a needed and key to your song but I think they got a little stuffed in. With a focus on the right instrument in a fill, it will make the song breath more naturally.
Still, I love the song. Very tasty.
