First off, I found your piece to have a very relaxing feeling (mellow). Your voice fit perfectly into the feeling of the music. I loved the depth in your voice.

I was a little surprized by the horns coming in so abruptly. (I thought they were horns)

Some advise...I am no expert, but I have written a little. be patient with your creativity. Don't leave your projects less than they could be. I wrote a song for my daughter when she was four, and I finally got it the way i exactly wanted it for her wedding at age 28.

You'll know when it's right.