It's very good yes.. I am now listening to Guns'N'Roses - Estranged from Use Your Illusion II. This is what kind of music I am hearing going along with your lyrics, especially the first part of their song where it's quiet and comfortable..

The only thing I had trouble with is some of the imagery you were attempting to convey.. for example the second line "across a country side marked by hands pointing down".. hand pointing down? cactus?.. the imagery is there and it makes me think but just doesn't "gel" for me.. may be if I lived where you do it would make more sense and all that.

I don't know what emotions you are trying to express really.. it could be environmental, it could psychological.. just not sure what you're trying to do here..