love is the prize


jamen
Registered User
Joined: 06/14/07
Posts: 8
jamen
Registered User
Joined: 06/14/07
Posts: 8
06/14/2007 6:32 pm
hi
just joined this site and thought id submit a song i wrote

Love is the prize

What a day I’m feeling a little pressure
As a remedy your sex appeal could not be bettered
By the way your loves like a medicine that can’t be measured
All the way we take it to heighten the pleasure
Oh yes that’s right

Cause love is the prize at the end of our lust
We open our eyes and we feel desired
The connection of hearts and minds in tune understanding
Mirrors our perception outside

You can have your cake and eat it, its official
On my dessert plate you always serve up something special
Here’s to gaining weight my hungers satisfies your true potential
There’s no delay we feed like there’s no tomorrow
Oh yes that’s right

Cause love is the prize at the end of our lust
We open our eyes and we feel desired
The connection of hearts and minds in tune understanding
Mirrors our perception outside

Don’t be afraid this love will last forever
So it’s early days but we are meant to be together
It can’t be fate as destiny has kept me in the picture
Don’t look dismayed cause life unfolds in surprising ways
Oh yes that’s right

But you’ll find I’m most impressed with your loving
It’s lifted me higher making me stand tall
Making me feel good
It’s been making me stronger
Committed I long for you the rest of my life

Cause love is the prize at the end of our lust
We open our eyes and we feel desired
The connection of hearts and minds in tune understanding
Mirrors our perception outside
# 1
Kevin Taylor
Guitar Tricks Instructor
Joined: 03/05/00
Posts: 4,722
Kevin Taylor
Guitar Tricks Instructor
Joined: 03/05/00
Posts: 4,722
06/14/2007 8:17 pm
Very nice. You'd obviously have to hear it sung to music in order to fully appreciate it. About the only change I'd make is with this verse:

You can have your cake and eat it, its official
On my dessert plate you always serve up something special
Here’s to gaining weight my hungers satisfies your true potential
There’s no delay we feed like there’s no tomorrow
Oh yes that’s right

... cleverly thought out, but out of place with the rest of the tune and a little corny. It brings you out of the moment and makes you think about the writer trying to come up with something clever instead of conveying a real emotion.

Just my own opinion though.
# 2
earthman buck
Registered User
Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
earthman buck
Registered User
Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
06/14/2007 8:46 pm
I liked it too....even the cake part.
# 3
jamen
Registered User
Joined: 06/14/07
Posts: 8
jamen
Registered User
Joined: 06/14/07
Posts: 8
06/15/2007 1:58 pm
hi
thanks for the feedback its appreciated though in my head the cake part is still an emotion in the song. your right about being a little corny but that was the aim to divert from just being a lovey dovey song. i havnt really shown you the whole song as ive written a part for someone else singing different words and melody but it all comes together. once again thanks.
# 4

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