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Drew77
Registered User
Joined: 01/26/05
Posts: 191
Drew77
Registered User
Joined: 01/26/05
Posts: 191
06/05/2007 11:33 pm
yeah it needs work in that respect "the ancients" was originally "someone" and it is still just a stand in really. If I use the term "ancients" I'm just referring to ancient people, mankind, not any particular people or made up race. In that respect it works contextually but it is pretty loose.

That bothers me plus the end, it makes sense but I really don't like leaving with "a lesson" type thing, it just bothers me. Plus I have no clue were "grass and mud" come from, I guess when I think about it I just see lots of grassy hills under a red orange sky, but I can be fairly confident no one else does.

I guess the first stanza is about the (early) corruption of mankind and then the rest is just kind of the result of that, from one perspective anyway. Meaning is fairly loose in this particular piece, I am still working on creating compelling imagery and interesting phrasings, but what I really need to start doing is working stuff into music.

Anyway, hope that helped a little. Thanks for the input, it's always greatly appreciated.