That's the kind of detail that keeps me interested. It helps me get into the mind of the main character. I know Jolly can create me some interesting characters. It's the only thing really lacking in these passages. Even in a short story just as this it can add depth.
Magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
"If it feels right, play it. If it feels wrong, play it faster” - Magicninja
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
Guitar Tricks Moderator
"If it feels right, play it. If it feels wrong, play it faster” - Magicninja
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons