where suited men and women
they both love and smite
now get a job you silly man
beg no more , no more again
the golden people walk away
their separate paths
it makes me mad
oh why oh why did
I really like these lines, but I think I would make a few changes, such as:
ding dong goes the tramlines
where the suited maniquins
play their games ...... "Or something or other"
now get a job you silly man
beg no more, no more again " I really like this line, I wouldn't mine using that line"
the golden people walk their separate ways "Don't know I would call them golden people, but it's your song"
it drives me mad
oh why oh why did "The word drives has much more punch than makes. Don't you think?"
I really like some of your ideas. Some of your stuff seems a little to dark, yet some is very enlightening.
I haven't had the time to do anymore with "Ice Dream", but I haven't forgot about it. I really liked the topic and idea behind it.
Keep up the good work. Work on rythme.
What kind of music are you playing?
I would like to see more of your work.
