as an older family guy with hardly any free time to start/join a band....i can only guess...

but i think if you were desperate...to play/jam with someone...you could hook up with someone..and if they're
bad or good, compromising or "runnin the show"...
you will learn from them..
learn how to be a better player by jammin
learn how NOT to act.. (if they're jerks or whatever)

but yes,,it would be nice to find that
partner...that musical other half that
challenges you and respects you...
*sigh*
-G