The only real tiffs I have with it is the fact that it seems pretty stock, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I write a lot of simple, stock acoustic songs. It's just comes accross as a lot of stuff that's already been said... you know?? Hard to explain, I guess.
It's kind of all over the place too... It first says:
I'm hanging on by one finger, yeah
I'm gonna need you in the bitter end
So reach for me, pray for me
So I don't fall into life's suppense
Then it goes into:
I'd save you if I could
Love you till the mist has cleared
I won't let you cry tonight
For you I'd take my life!
Which contradicts... imo.
Then you have:
Drowning in the water
of death and purity
Which is confusing because it's an oxymoron...
But like I said, you have a great frame work to work around. I'd just try to go in and rework some of the more cliche lines. Respect though.