Ego

Ok, my band is having a few problems atm. Mainly because the drummer has developed an ego problem. He keeps trying to tell everyone he is supreme, argues over every small detail etc. But we can't just kick him because
a)he the only drummer where we live
b)he's my twelve year old brother

Any ideas how to resolve this problem?

Any help appreciated.

How old/big are you compared to him? I always managed to convince my brother of my way of thinking one way or another... :D (Threats of violence)

Maybe talking like you might kick him out of the band would be enough to freak him into coming around?

Bands are often like this and famous bands with siblings quite often have their problems on top. What happens if when he's saying 'I'm the best drummer in the world man, bow before me'.... you just come back with 'yeah, you are the best drummer in the world... now lets get on with this'... ?

Well.... the fact that he's 12 years old speaks volumes... He's obviously not mature enough to approach it as seriously as you probably are.

I'd hate to say it this way... but... that's kind of what you get for being in a band with a 12 year old... hahaha. Just kidding.

All bands have their little moments of butting heads. It's to be expected. With multiple people come multiple personalities and perspectives ands you're almost never gauranteed to have the same views on everything. The good bands, the ones that make it, are the ones that can work through that... Obviously, even for those kinds of bands it gets to a point either creatively or personally where there are enough differences to break up.

What I'm collectively saying is you're going to have to work with him on it. Since he's your brother... I'd say sit him down and try to have a serious convo with him about it. Big brothers can be pretty influencial, if you just sit down with him... outside the band practice area... and have a private face to face convo with him about it he may see the light and try to impress you by throwing out the ego. The worst thing you can do is approach him in front of the band about it because that puts him on the immediate defensive about the issue and he's going to block out everythign you're saying and try to use his "But I'm the best you've got" attitude.

Those are my suggestions...

Im tellin Mom and Dad :D

Buddy...he's your 12 year old brother...is he aware of that? It's funny, he sounds exactly like the kid my drummer taught lessons to.

Tell him there's no room in the band for ego. I never saw the point of being an egotistical musician...I mean no matter how good you get, there will always be a thousand people better than you.

Thankyou all for the help. I tried the convo just with him and he agreed and understood, well appeared to. But when practice came same ego. I think we'll just cover one of the songs he wants to cover like War pigs or Heartbreaker as he's always saying how easy them to are to play on drums. And with the theory he may wake up to himself. But thsnkd again it seemed to help.

Btw "I'm Telling Mum and Dad." 10 points

Sit the kid down and make him listen to mike portnoy for ten minutes. And every 20 seconds, shock him with a cattle prod. I guarantee you will never get attitude from him again.

Disclaimer: I do no officially condone this

beat the piss outa him. Itl do him good. Then sit him at that drum set and tell him hes gonna play what you tell him to play. And if he argues, continue beating. Thats what I'd do.

lol all good suggestions. But being young he'd just quit and be real bitchy for the next three months lol we'll just have to keep talking a bit more

Confidence is good. Over-confidence is annoying. Cockiness is an invitation to an a**whippin'. :D

I'm not a huge fan of drummers who use double bass pedals, but I'm not gonna lie, that was a nasty solo. Anyways, I guess in a way you should be happy that your 12 yr old brother will even play with you guys. I have a 13 yr old brother who won't play with me even if I pay him....literally. He was bribed 100 bucks to play battle of the bands with me and a few friends....... (2 songs)....he said no! I know what you mean though, because my singer is the same way, and probably has the largest ego I have ever seen. Seriously you can see it. He's always talking about how were gonna hit it huge and be famous and all that crap, when in reality he's pretty terrible at singing. I've pretty much learned to ignore all of the ego mumbo jumbo, but it really is a problem. If you're good, you will know, not because YOU say so, but because other people do.

Originally Posted by: Weslaba If you're good, you will know, not because YOU say so, but because other people do.

Some seriously wise words there. Word. :)