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Joined: 09/19/02
Posts: 3,941
Full Access
Joined: 09/19/02
Posts: 3,941
01/08/2007 2:55 pm
Ran across this in another forum, and just had to share it with y'all here. Some people really amaze me. :rolleyes:

Number One Idiot of 2006

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she
caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful
and there would be no need to bring her daughter into
the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her
daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the
emergency room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
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Number Two Idiot of 2006
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane
and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river,
they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the
emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft
was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint
might run.
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Number Three Idiot of 2006
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America,
walked into the Branch and wrote this. "Put all your
muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to
the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen
him write the note and might call the police before he
reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street
to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes
in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors
that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told
him that she could not accept his stickup note because
it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and
that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo
deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting
in line back at Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably
couldn't read it anyway.
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Number Four Idiot of 2006
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated
speed trap that; measured his speed using radar and
photographed his car. He later received in the mail a
ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of
payment, he sent the police department a photograph of
Several days later, he received a letter from the
police that contained another picture, this time of
He immediately mailed in his $40.
Wise guy........ but you still get a sign

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Number Five Idiot of 2006
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun
and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber
saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf.
He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but
the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe
you are over 21."
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to
give it to him because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license
out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was
in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the
name and address of the robber that he got off the
They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.
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Idiot Number Six of 2006
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

Idiot Number Seven of 2006
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty
badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block
through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back
knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store
window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, Here's your sign
(Please note that all of the above people are allowed
to vote)

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I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new
neighbor call the local township administrative office
to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on
our road.
The reason:
"Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be
crossing anymore."
From Kingman, KS.
__________________________________________________ ____

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a
taco. She asked the person behind the counter for
"minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only
had iceberg.
He was a Chef?
Yep...From kansas City!
__________________________________________________ ____

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an
airport employee asked,!
"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge,
how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham, Ala.
__________________________________________________ ____

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to
cross the street
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged
coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the
light is red.
Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind
people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS
__________________________________________________ _

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.
She was leaving the company due to" downsizing."
Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We
should do this more often."
Not another word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that
deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip
back into itself and for the sake of her own life,
couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no
__________________________________________________ __

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile
dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys
had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to
unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the
passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle
and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I
announced to the technician, "its open!"
His reply, "I know - I already got that side."
This was at the CHEVY dealership in Canton, Mississippi.
__________________________________________________ ____

They walk among us .. and they REPRODUCE .!!!

[FONT=Palatino Linotype]Tonja Renee's personal instructor[/FONT]