I had a heard time picking up the rhythm at first but once I got to the "now i'm falling" part... I finally picked it up and it flowed after that... up until the "no more words..." part... it seemed to break the rhythm since it didn't rhyme like the others...

I don't know if it's what you're going for but the whole time I was singing it in a very Pop'ish up-beat, acoustic style voice. Not to bad at all.

Polish some of the other lines and put some music to it, I'd love to hear it.