Originally Posted by: Jolly McJollysonI dunno. I disagree with extending the killing. I think it would overwrite the act itself, which might defeat the purpose of the piece as a whole. Since this story isn't about brutality and depravity, but rather monotony, I think the killing should seem just as non-chalant and mechanical as the speaker's own mundane existence. I do think the story should go on to show him sitting in a prison cell, overjoyed by the new monotony running his life, but by his own choice now rather than simply "because."

Interesting thought. I agree that it's really about monotony but the line that really caught my fancy was his thinking of other creative ways to take out Richard. As far as extending the killing, well, sure. It could stay as a throw away act but it seems to me that the story needs a 'moment' to share with the reader. As written, it builds and builds to the 'moment' and then sort of blows past it. I would think that if it were me taking out that fat blowhard, it wouldn't be a smack or two with a wine bottle. It would start that way and then work into an out and out savaging.

But that's me. I have issues....hehe

Nice thing about a story like this is that it can be written a myriad of ways with a host of details and outcomes.