I am, or was, in your same boat. I think the key is practice. For almost 2 years I practiced 1-3 hours a day and jammed 3-6 hours on the weekends. Then work got in the way and for about 6 months I was lucky to get in 15 minutes of practice a day. I was still jamming on the weekends, but I was getting worse, not better. Chords and chord progressions were still OK, but solos just plain sucked...and I was told so on many occaisions...but when you practice only 15 minutes a day, how many times can you play all your solos when your song list is about 40 songs long? How can you possibly learn something new-and master it?

I went back to practicing 2-3 hours a day. I either got up early or stayed up late. Because I REALLY wanted to do it. It only took ONE week and I was close to where I was 6 months ago...close, but not there, yet...

I work on 3-4 songs a day. I play the solos until I can play them 10 times in a row-perfectly. Sometimes I only play one song for all 2 hours...really bites, but that's why they call it practice.

Learning to play chord progressions by ear is fairly easy, if you listen. (about 100 times to the same song)

Learning solos, for me is difficult. I use a software program called "Best Practice." I think it is free, but I can't remember. If it costs a little it is worth it. It allows you to slow down the music (mp3's or wav's) and pick out small sections and loop them-over and over and over and over...play a 10 second passage at 70% for 30 minutes and sooner or later you will figure it out.

So, bottom line, get back on the practice horse, and ride, baby, ride!