Guitar Tricks Online Guitar Lessons

Ninjie does Poetry

magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Joined: 03/13/02
Posts: 3,827
magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Joined: 03/13/02
Posts: 3,827
09/13/2006 4:27 am
Decisions

Down the winding, wooded path
laid with earthly gravel
Sentinels scrape the scarlet sky
Along this road I travel

I step through the forlorn mist
searching for my power
Victory! vows the valiant man
but mercy! cries the coward
Magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
"If it feels right, play it. If it feels wrong, play it faster” - Magicninja
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
Permalink
# 1
jeffhx
Disco Bandit
Joined: 12/20/05
Posts: 1,929
jeffhx
Disco Bandit
Joined: 12/20/05
Posts: 1,929
09/13/2006 4:45 am
i like the imagery...the mystery behind the imagery is awesomeness...short, simple and fabulously written...
[FONT=Impact]grooviest tunes ever [/FONT]
Permalink
# 2
acapella
Registered User
Joined: 12/08/05
Posts: 1,617
acapella
Registered User
Joined: 12/08/05
Posts: 1,617
09/13/2006 3:38 pm
Awesome. I love it.
You go outside and practice screaming. We'll play music while you're gone.
Permalink
# 3
jiujitsu_jesus
Registered User
Joined: 12/19/05
Posts: 2,171
jiujitsu_jesus
Registered User
Joined: 12/19/05
Posts: 2,171
09/14/2006 1:03 am
Cool! It's so short, but it creates such a rich image. Good work, Ninj. :cool:
"It's all folk music... I ain't never heard no horse sing!"
- Attributed variously to Leadbelly and Louis Armstrong

If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.

l337iZmz r@wk o.K!!!??>
Permalink
# 4
earthman buck
Registered User
Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
earthman buck
Registered User
Joined: 10/15/05
Posts: 2,953
09/14/2006 2:15 am
Good stuff, ninj.

If I were you, I'd change sentinels to sent'nels, just because it would help the flow along better when read aloud. Also, it would make the poem seem as if it came from the era when one could actually make money as a poet.

Good stuff, though. Really.
Can't a Captain look at a Queen?
Permalink
# 5
magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Joined: 03/13/02
Posts: 3,827
magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Joined: 03/13/02
Posts: 3,827
10/18/2006 8:20 am
I never thanked you guys...so ummm thanks! :)
Magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
"If it feels right, play it. If it feels wrong, play it faster” - Magicninja
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
Permalink
# 6

Please register with a free account to post on the forum.

Register