- you take a girl to the movies and as you sit down, your ankles crack like an old man
- a teenage girl calls you 'Sir' for the first time
- you check out the reflection in a window to see if girls are looking at you... and none of them are
- a girl says you remind them of their uncle
- you make a pass at a girl and she says 'oh... I thought you were married or something'
- you pass some girls at the mall, and turn around to see if they're checking out your ass, and none of em even noticed.
- you're older than Homer Simpson
- you mention Johnny Carson and she says "Who?"
- that old lady at the checkout counter is your first girlfriend
- you actually tell somebody to turn the music down
- you're alone with a teenage girl and think you're getting somewhere, only to realize she's being nice to her elders
- you get a sunburn on your bald spot
- 40 year old women are making passes at you
- you grunt when you stand up
- you drive in the slow lane to save gas
- you fall asleep in the middle of the day
- you're actually treated with respect by car salespeople
- your best friend is an old fat bald guy... just like you