a new song

the guide shows him the way,
he dont know if he'll show or go but hes gotta get away,

he dont know what hell he did,
but looking back he knows he should be dead,

chorus, the place the man was once before,
had of the smell of trees,
nows hes lead through a place where he can hardly see,
its all over, its all over, its all over, for him now,

he came from the top and droped oh so low,
no recognition no life he has to show,

chorus

solo

chorus

he got no more hope left in him
he'll be going on his way now.




i wrote this when i was 11, its not very good. but i wrote it after looking at this picture in an antique book

simple, cool, calmy feel is what i got from it..i can imagine how its being sang...keep it up and git it recorded!

When I read it at first I didn't think much of it, but that's great for an eleven year old.

Good song I got a few tweeks to it.
If you want any good song you got to have a great guitar track.
Great voice accents.
Good chorus. (You already have that)
And a great style it fits with.

I'm confused at what style your going for punk country heavy metal. I'm confused.

So, um...what are the tweaks?

Yea sry I forgot the tweeks.
One you shouldn't use alot of uses of him and he use one like

The man don't know if he'll show or go.

Like that.
Have more of an excitement into the song like a part were you get to toughen up your voice and scream.

its a folk song