"Builders in the amber light" is one of those lines that i think is f***ing genius. I don't think you should have it again at the end, though. In my mind, there's no reason for it to be there. That's my only complaint.

I like the chaotic, hard-to-imagine-what-it-sounds-like-with-music structure of it all.

That line about the Bread Mouth child is cool.