bored at work... got some lyrics in my head.


aschleman
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Joined: 04/26/05
Posts: 2,051
aschleman
Registered User
Joined: 04/26/05
Posts: 2,051
07/19/2006 1:31 pm
I'm all out.
Ran down... to the bone.
The floor is... not so low
Lay here with a warm face...
Provide my beautiful flame
Show me my way
to the spoon...
I'll be home soon.

For as long as I'm here I'm dying.
And as long as I'm here I'll need it.
Someone tell me what the day is...
What day is this?
Can I have a hit
I know...
I know...
Take me home.

I'm all out.
Heart pounds... to the end...
The pain is... my old friend.
It slides closer to me...
Give me my beautiful escape...
Take me away.
Drop the spoon...
I'll be home soon.



i'm definitely writing music to that song tonight...
# 1
iiholly
hmm
Joined: 07/29/02
Posts: 2,368
iiholly
hmm
Joined: 07/29/02
Posts: 2,368
07/20/2006 5:07 pm
"For as long as I'm here I'm dying."

Thats how I feel at work.

"Drop the spoon"
"What day is this?
Can I have a hit"

Drug reference I'm guessing?

"The pain is... my old friend."

Cliche line, I'd change it or reword it if I were you.

# 2
aschleman
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Joined: 04/26/05
Posts: 2,051
aschleman
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Joined: 04/26/05
Posts: 2,051
07/20/2006 6:10 pm
Originally Posted by: iiholly"For as long as I'm here I'm dying."

Thats how I feel at work.

"Drop the spoon"
"What day is this?
Can I have a hit"

Drug reference I'm guessing?

"The pain is... my old friend."

Cliche line, I'd change it or reword it if I were you.


haha... yeah. The first line you picked out is basically shooting at the idea that as long as we're all alive... we're only dying.

The spoon is indeed a drug reference... I don't do heroine or any drugs like that... so no worries! Just a little fictional writing... That's what I was shooting for with the "flame... show me my way to the spoon"/"warm face"/"I'll be home soon"/and so forth...

That "Pain is..." line is my least favorite by far... just like you said. I couldn't come up with anything at the time so I just wrote that in because it follows the basic structure I was going for... Basically it's just a guideline so I remember the flow of the song. I'm going to come up with something to put in there... But I only have 6 syllables to work with so I'm going to have to explore.... haha. It'll come to me.

Thanks for the feedback!
# 3
glitchead
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Joined: 07/19/06
Posts: 12
glitchead
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Joined: 07/19/06
Posts: 12
07/21/2006 1:49 pm
Cliche? bwahahah,it seems pretty fine to me.

How about replacing
" The pain is ...... my old friend "

with

"The pain still keeps reeling through my door."

What do u think? seems to fit in mate.
Good eve.
[FONT=Times New Roman]The Gloaming[/FONT]
# 4

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