Old song/"original"

I would like to post the lyrics to a song that was written by a former band I was in, and would welcome any opinions on the lyrics.

As soon as I get my other PC up to record etc. I will post the song.

Story-- We played a gig and after the show the owner complained that we were too "loud" and he would not book us again. Funny seeing how we used the house board and their sound guy.

So we got righteously PO'd and wrote a song about it --"want to hear it? Here it goes" :D

Band - Corduroy
Title: too much ....... Stuff :rolleyes: ? Can't remember. But was published will have to go back -- 10- 12 years to look up.

------------------------------------------------------------
(Intro)
Turn it up.....
Repeat 3 x's

(Verse 1)
Turn it up enraptured soul of mine,
We're coming through and I think we're gonna blow your mind.
Did I break your little world and turn your truth to lies?
Too loud for these little rooms?
Too much for these little minds?

(Chorus)
All the guilt that your laying down on me,
I've been weighing one hundred thousand pounds.
A soul distraction is coming to find me,
Ooooh,
But when will it rescue you?

(V3)
Stand back, I've got the sun in my hand.
The searing heat, you know these walls can't withstand.
Did I break your little world and turn your truth to lies?
Too loud for these little rooms?
Too much for these little minds?

Chorus

Solo

Chorus

Outro...Hollywood fade :)

I like this line.

Stand back, I've got the sun in my hand.
The searing heat, you know these walls can't withstand.

Originally Posted by: jimmy_kwtxStand back, I've got the sun in my hand.

This is the only part of the song I liked. Well, I liked the song, but I don't think it fits the purpose. The rest of it seems like you're trying to make it into something it isn't. Most of the words don't fit the story, you know what I'm saying? In a song like this, a f*** you song, it should be really straight forward and to the point, no dicking around with lyrical flourishes that make it harder to see the real point of the song. In my opinion anyway. The chorus especially, I don't think it fits this song.

Ace,

Definately get what your saying in terms of the story behind the song. And how some of the lyrics can be very ambiguous.

Alot of the stuff we wrote was along of the lines of music first and lyrics second. So the singer would fit his melody over the base of the song.

We tended to use the typical formula for the songs V,C,V solo, V or C (or both) out.

I personally can't write lyrics and couldn't sing for my supper ( but could to save my life :) ).

But I do want to grow as a musician and any suggestions will help.