Originally Posted by: lifeis@songi dont like it that much. i guess i dont know what it sounds like, but the words are not that poetic. you should post the songs up here. what style of music is it?[/QUOTE]
I agree, I should. I will when I can. Judging by the amount of times I used the phrase "rocks" I think you can guess what the style is.

[QUOTE=iiholly]I like the spacing you used (I'm looking at it as poetry, since I can't hear the melody) in that part of the first verse of spiral down. This makes a cliche statement seem more interesting, but it's not cliche enough to bother me too bad.

Actually, that clever spacing continues on further. It's designed that way, to make you think it ends on "for you", because in the song there's actually a bit of a pause there. But it actually is supposed to go further, so it's "for you to think that..."

The last line of spiraling down I like. The combining of those two commonly used phrases is interesting, but I'm not sure if they have been used together before. It looks familiar, but oh well.

I really have no idea if that's been done before. I didn't think much about that part, I needed an ending and it seemed to fit.

The chorus in eye candy is toooooo repetitive. I haven't heard it, but maybe you make the chorus so simple because it's musically complex. If that's not the case you might want to consider changing it up a bit.

I guess that's a matter of personal opinion. From a poetic perspective, it is pretty boring. But in the sense of a song, where the chorus is based on a catchy riff, it seems to work well to keep things simple. If I did change it I would probably change the beginning part as minimally as I vary the second part, like
You go away again, ******
Bring me another friend, ******
You go away again, ******
Tell me that it's the end, ******
Actually now that I think of it maybe I will do something along those lines. Something a bit more lyrical maybe. Thanks for the critisism, apparently it has helped me after all.