Big A,

Know how, and what you are going through. I have been playing 18 years. Went through the same situation for many years and only recently "learned" differently.

The truth--the problem lies with you. :confused: :( .

It's sort of like the concept of how we do not like the sound of our own voice recorded. We perceive the way "it should sound" vs. the way it "actually sounds".

This is an issue -- becuase the root (music pun) lies within us -- that the only really advice that will work for you is patience (IMO) and total self --awareness? or acceptance (I prefer the latter).

Until about 2 years ago I was obsessed (yes 16 years of playing) with sounding perfect in everything I played, practiced and like you --DID not like the way I played/sounded.

Then one day it snapped and I just..........played. Here is hopefully an inspirational tale that will help you shorten the time it took me.

Setting-- Guitar Center.

The luck (or muse) in this case was my 14 year old son, Alex, who I had been teaching for 4 years at the time.

I had been promising to take him to GC so he could play around with different electrics and acoustics. (He had since outgrown his juinor guitar and was ready for a full "man"sized one).

So we made a Saturday and spent a good 2 hours there playing different instruments. At first I was handing him different "types".

Heres an Ibanez, Heres a Jackson, Heres a Strat, so on so forth. He was very timid at playing -- 4 years of playing and he was only 14 at the time :confused: (WOULD HAVE KILLED TO HAVE HIS CHOPS BACK THEN or a guitar for that matter)-- and he was very embarrased and shy.

Well for some reason that day I littereally had no thought, or care, what so ever about how I played. I was just wanting to show him the difference of the guitars and how each is "sort of " designed for specific genres of music {I know you can play anything on any guitar etc. etc. } So it ended up with him walking around the store pointing out different guitars and me playing them at the nearest amp that was available using whatever settings , both clean and distorted.

Later as we drove home my son was saying that he totally amazed so on and so forth and he wished I would "play that way at home". He was amazed at how I "let loose" and wasn't just playing around "with the amp" like I do at home and "play the same boring stuff". Other praises, but those go to the grave with me.

I know he is my son and that is to be expected. But my son is one of those kids that are brutally honest. God bless him.

Long story short.

I had to step back, and after many questions, look at what he was saying, how I felt and what was going through my mind while I was playing.

I was able to realize that -- here is where you need to apply ME in the sentences.

I am the guitar player that I am.

I play a certain way.

After all of these years, and countless hours of different settings, effects (etc. forever and ever, to infinity and beyond) that if after all this time playing -- If I hadn't found what I have been searching for by that time maybe the problem wasn't the equipment but the way I perceived ( heard ) myself.

So I pulled out a bunch of old cassetes and listened to my "anthology" and recordeed some new things and listened to those.

I actually heard that overall all those years my "sound" was always there I just never listened for it.

**I noticed you are aware of all the different things-- different people play..., everyone sound different on the same.... etc. etc. So I will not bore you with all that. But I jus twant to pass along this

* Until you are able to "let go" of what you want to hear and listen to what you can do you will always feel you are not the player you want/should/could be. Music is freedom and/of expression and we all express things differently and with our own voice. Listen to the voice that is and has always been yours. *

There is more about how I chose the settings that work for amps and pedals, strings pics, that work for me "now" but I am sure I am pontificating, so.....

I'll get off my soapbox.