I may not have any kids, but I do know what you mean with the re-run syndrome of memories regarding lost loved ones and their passing. And not only that, but frequently the imagination will fire up and insert it's own additions. It's all natural, and probably quite necessary...but we can't help but feel it's a little cruel and tiring. Without trying to sound too cleche, you just have to try and avoid dwelling in regret, and appreciate what you had. Easier said than done, I know.