magicninia, i have just now seen your post. i am so upset and am crying with you and i so feel your grief and am sharing a micro of your burdon with you. i read where you said you didn't believe in God and although I do believe in him i won't try to make you believe in him so that is not where this is going. but you and I --- we're both [U]people[/U] and if i was in your place i would want some kind of answer... some kind of hope. so what i offer you -- if it is any consolation to your soul and to your wife's soul. there were some people in bible a long time ago who were losing their young men (children) to death and nobody thought to ask WHY? this upset God and he brought it up to them and he said even though you won't ask, I will tell you why.... the young men are taken to SPARE them from the evil that is coming upon the earth. i belive that your baby was spared for whatever reason unbenounced to us... and not ripped from you as a punishment or some horrific mean thing from a God that you cannot even see. my thoughts, prayers and my love are with your family.