Got to thinking about my little guy alot again this morning. :( Mostly because of a post i ran into in that My betsy is worth thread. These days i barely feel like the last year even happened. My wife being pregnant and him being here. It almost seems like a surreal dream or something. I've had horrendous nightmares which i don't even wanna go into detail about. I still haven't had a good dream with him in it though and it's somewhat troubling. Maybe I'm just hoping for too much in that respect. I find myself starting to worry about my older son alot even though I told myself I wouldn't. It's a horrible paranoia to have in the first place much less after a tragedy as this. My thoughts revert to where is my son? What is he doing? Is he ok? if he's not with us for more than an hour. It's quite bothersome and it's not how I want to live for the next 50 years. I'll work it out one way or another. Talking about it is a good start I suppose. I'm gonna have to if my poor son and any future children are going to be allowed a proper childhood.