Originally Posted by: jiujitsu_jesusOuch!
*sniff* please don't kill me...
*cocks gun*
Grovel.
jokes!!! bwahahahaha...lame jokes!!! even better!!
*cocks gun*
Grovel.
# 1
This is so sexest but I have to post it...its sooo wrong.
How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, make the ***** do the dishes in the dark.
How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, make the ***** do the dishes in the dark.
"During this line, the kid acted like he was pushing buttons on a calculator in the air. The kid played ******* air-calculator!"
Myspace
Myspace
# 2
What has two legs and bleeds a whole lot?
Half a Dog!
definately the greatest joke of all time...
Half a Dog!
definately the greatest joke of all time...
[FONT=Century Gothic]Hope is when we feel the pain that makes us try again[/FONT]
# 3
ha, i heard this on the radio this morning.
if an italian has one arm shorter than the other, what is it called?
A speach impediment!
if an italian has one arm shorter than the other, what is it called?
A speach impediment!
# 4
What do you call a corrupt lawyer on a disproportionately huge salary?
Senator
Senator
"It's all folk music... I ain't never heard no horse sing!"
- Attributed variously to Leadbelly and Louis Armstrong
If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.
l337iZmz r@wk o.K!!!??>
- Attributed variously to Leadbelly and Louis Armstrong
If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.
l337iZmz r@wk o.K!!!??>
# 5
What's the difference between a crooked lawyer and a belligerent rooster?
The rooster clucks defiance, but the lawyer ...
The rooster clucks defiance, but the lawyer ...
# 6
What do you call a guy who makes sexist jokes?
who cares, i'm going to kill you (j/k this isn't a threat)
who cares, i'm going to kill you (j/k this isn't a threat)
# 7
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2, same as anywhere else.
2, same as anywhere else.
"If one has realized a truth, that truth is valueless so long as there is lacking the indomitable will to turn this realization into action!"
-A.H.
-A.H.
# 8
Why do lawyers wear neckties?
to keep the foreskin from covering their face.
What do you call 99 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
a good start.
to keep the foreskin from covering their face.
What do you call 99 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
a good start.
I am a constant evolving music machine. Oh Man, I just forgot what I was playing. Oh well, on to the next song. :rolleyes:
# 9
Hey, BigBuda's back as well! :) Where've you been lately?
"It's all folk music... I ain't never heard no horse sing!"
- Attributed variously to Leadbelly and Louis Armstrong
If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.
l337iZmz r@wk o.K!!!??>
- Attributed variously to Leadbelly and Louis Armstrong
If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.
l337iZmz r@wk o.K!!!??>
# 10
Originally Posted by: AkiraLmfao!!!
Swear I've popped this one up before, but ohwell, here goes...
What's the definition of confused?
20 lesbians in a fish market
Lmao, that reminds me of a shirt I saw a few years ago...... I'm as confused as a hungry baby in a topless bar.
"During this line, the kid acted like he was pushing buttons on a calculator in the air. The kid played ******* air-calculator!"
Myspace
Myspace
# 11
Originally Posted by: jiujitsu_jesusHey, BigBuda's back as well! :) Where've you been lately?
I've been very busy trying to move back to Houston, find a house, get a job and all that good stuff. I'm around though. ;)
I am a constant evolving music machine. Oh Man, I just forgot what I was playing. Oh well, on to the next song. :rolleyes:
# 12
What seperates Brokback Mountain from typical westerns?
It's the one where the good guys get it in the end.
It's the one where the good guys get it in the end.
For life is quite absurd and death's the final word, You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
METOOB
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
METOOB
# 13
Originally Posted by: ericthecableguyWhat seperates Brokback Mountain from typical westerns?
It's the one where the good guys get it in the end.
Eww........
"During this line, the kid acted like he was pushing buttons on a calculator in the air. The kid played ******* air-calculator!"
Myspace
Myspace
# 14
Originally Posted by: elklanderccEww........
Ahh...come on it's funny.
He, this coming from the guy who suggested I put down my fly before getting a talk from my teacher. :rolleyes:
For life is quite absurd and death's the final word, You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
METOOB
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
METOOB
# 15
Ya'll hear about the butcher who sat on the meat grinder?
He got behind on his work.
He got behind on his work.
[FONT=Palatino Linotype]"Bust a nut!" - Dimebag
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Einstein[/FONT]
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Einstein[/FONT]
# 16
why couldnt helen keller drive?
becuase she was a woman!
that was sexist, i hate myself.
becuase she was a woman!
that was sexist, i hate myself.
# 17
Originally Posted by: rockonn91why couldnt helen keller drive?
becuase she was a woman!
that was sexist, i hate myself.
That's the funniest joke EVER! I would rep your ASS off but I gave out too much and have to wait now. Tomorrow!
You go outside and practice screaming. We'll play music while you're gone.
# 18