Q: What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.

Q: How do you know when the stage is level?
A: The guitarist drools out of both sides of his mouth.

Q: What's the difference between folk and classical guitar?
A: About $50 an hour in studio billing.

Q: How do you make a guitarist's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in his ear.

Q: Why are so many guitarist jokes one-liners?
A: So the rest of the band can understand them.

Q: Did you hear about the guitarist who was hit by a train?
A: Yeah. He never heard it coming.

Q: What does a lead guitarist fear most?
A: That if they keep doing that long enough, they'll go blind.