Originally Posted by: alucard0941alrite cool Ill check them out.

Anyway, what did you think? :confused: I wrote this poem for my English class , so its kinda amature...

Not really my bag, especially the heavy symbolisms. I'm not really good at picking up symbolisms, so I always find myself out of the loop with those types of poems.

I found it a bit long, and many run-on sentences made it kind of tough to wade through. Some expressions and adjectives didn't really fit together. Whereas sparing use of this device can often be interesting, if you make a whole poem out of it, it can be distracting. (e.g. "shots of blood bestowed upon surface", " guillotined its ashes", "not realizing the satchel", "soft ice")

A really great online writing community that I frequent is www.writersdock.com. You should check it out.