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magicninja
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magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Joined: 03/13/02
Posts: 3,827
12/16/2005 10:25 pm
Here's what we got:

Shallow pools of liquid brown
niether full or hollow
with withered endless faces
and many men to follow

Swirling in these pools of filth
Exhaustless everhated
well within the caustic grin
The smile has long abated

In between remaining dreams
thoughts are torn asunder
while we hear the shadows fall
as gentle rolling thunder

And dreams that now have faded
as pictures long ignored
Judicious, jousted, jaded
the process draws the cord

Into the blinding mystic
with one last to dispose
fear, folly, failure
I draw this to a close

Not bad not bad at all. :D
Magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
"If it feels right, play it. If it feels wrong, play it faster” - Magicninja
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
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# 1
magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
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Posts: 3,827
magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
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Posts: 3,827
12/18/2005 9:37 pm
Jolly McJollyson Where are you?
Magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
"If it feels right, play it. If it feels wrong, play it faster” - Magicninja
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
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# 2
Jolly McJollyson
Chick Magnet
Joined: 09/07/03
Posts: 5,457
Jolly McJollyson
Chick Magnet
Joined: 09/07/03
Posts: 5,457
12/19/2005 4:39 pm
Originally Posted by: magicninjaJolly McJollyson Where are you?

Here I am!
I want the bomb
I want the P-funk!

My band is better than yours...
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# 3
6strngs_2hmbkrs
Proud Celica Enthusiast
Joined: 08/14/04
Posts: 3,837
6strngs_2hmbkrs
Proud Celica Enthusiast
Joined: 08/14/04
Posts: 3,837
12/19/2005 5:09 pm
Originally Posted by: Jolly McJollysonHere I am!

There he is!
If you like cars see mine here
my spyspace
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# 4
magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
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Posts: 3,827
magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
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Posts: 3,827
12/19/2005 8:58 pm
Ok now that roll call has been taken what do think?
Magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
"If it feels right, play it. If it feels wrong, play it faster” - Magicninja
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
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# 5
6strngs_2hmbkrs
Proud Celica Enthusiast
Joined: 08/14/04
Posts: 3,837
6strngs_2hmbkrs
Proud Celica Enthusiast
Joined: 08/14/04
Posts: 3,837
12/19/2005 9:36 pm
Originally Posted by: magicninjaOk now that roll call has been taken what do think?

I think we should take roll call again..
If you like cars see mine here
my spyspace
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# 6
magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
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Posts: 3,827
magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
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12/20/2005 3:34 am
Originally Posted by: Jolly McJollysonIf you finish my suicide metaphor in a way I like I'll love you forever... If not I'm gonna do it myself.



Well what did you think? What would you have written?
Magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
"If it feels right, play it. If it feels wrong, play it faster” - Magicninja
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
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# 7
magicninja
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magicninja
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12/22/2005 12:01 am
C'mon Jolly I know you got something to say, you always do.
Magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
"If it feels right, play it. If it feels wrong, play it faster” - Magicninja
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
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# 8
Jolly McJollyson
Chick Magnet
Joined: 09/07/03
Posts: 5,457
Jolly McJollyson
Chick Magnet
Joined: 09/07/03
Posts: 5,457
12/22/2005 12:02 am
It was fine. I forgot what I was going to write anyhow, hahaha.
I want the bomb
I want the P-funk!

My band is better than yours...
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# 9
magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Joined: 03/13/02
Posts: 3,827
magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
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Posts: 3,827
12/22/2005 12:04 am
Ahh finally a resolution to the thread.
Magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
"If it feels right, play it. If it feels wrong, play it faster” - Magicninja
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
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# 10
magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
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Posts: 3,827
magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
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12/30/2005 7:52 am
Sorry, but Jolly would you object if I put that poem to some Jazz?
Magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
"If it feels right, play it. If it feels wrong, play it faster” - Magicninja
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
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# 11
Jolly McJollyson
Chick Magnet
Joined: 09/07/03
Posts: 5,457
Jolly McJollyson
Chick Magnet
Joined: 09/07/03
Posts: 5,457
12/30/2005 4:29 pm
Originally Posted by: magicninjaSorry, but Jolly would you object if I put that poem to some Jazz?

Nope, not at all. Might want to edit it, though, man. A lot of inconsistencies and style breaks.
I want the bomb
I want the P-funk!

My band is better than yours...
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# 12
magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Joined: 03/13/02
Posts: 3,827
magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
Joined: 03/13/02
Posts: 3,827
12/30/2005 4:32 pm
yeah I noticed. I think I can pull it off with the right diction and annunciation.
I don't know why but it just sounds jazzy to me.
Magicninja
Guitar Tricks Moderator
"If it feels right, play it. If it feels wrong, play it faster” - Magicninja
www.GuitarTricks.com - Home of Online Guitar Lessons
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# 13
Nikhil
Registered User
Joined: 11/06/05
Posts: 25
Nikhil
Registered User
Joined: 11/06/05
Posts: 25
12/31/2005 2:36 am
I like it.... certainly better than the stuff i come up with :rolleyes:
[FONT=Book Antiqua]Some one give me a gibson Les Paul..[/FONT] :o
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# 14
guitarboy313
Registered User
Joined: 10/13/05
Posts: 85
guitarboy313
Registered User
Joined: 10/13/05
Posts: 85
01/08/2006 4:39 pm
That was good but it makes a better hate song. Can I use it for a song. :D
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]Everything is over rated except guitars drums basses and pianos.[/FONT]
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# 15
6strngs_2hmbkrs
Proud Celica Enthusiast
Joined: 08/14/04
Posts: 3,837
6strngs_2hmbkrs
Proud Celica Enthusiast
Joined: 08/14/04
Posts: 3,837
01/08/2006 5:43 pm
Originally Posted by: guitarboy313That was good but it makes a better hate song. Can I use it for a song. :D

which? mine or magic & jolly's? if you meant mine, then yeah you can use it. I just want to hear it when it's finished :cool:
If you like cars see mine here
my spyspace
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# 16

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